HOW NOT TO PITCH YOUR CUSTOMER

One of the most impactful lessons I’ve gotten in recent memory was in a lecture from my boss, Jason. He was explaining how companies who produce photography equipment would often go to him and announce that they had great news—- they want to sponsor him! His response was always a polite, but firm “That’s nice. What’s in it for me?” This always took the air out of their balloons.

The people pitching him were attempting to convince him that they were doing him a favor. But the reality is, they were trying to use his audience and his reputation to expand their brand. Usually in exchange for free equipment. That might sound nice for a new photographer with a small equipment budget, but to an experienced businessman, it’s less than nothing.

The short version of this lesson is simple, but important. If you’re looking for someone to help you build your business, don’t expect them to do it for free. At the very least, you have to prove to them that you can help them.

Cut to yesterday. I had a table at an event called Author’s Row. I and about two dozen fellow writers were there selling our books. For the most part, it was a great event and I very much thank the staff at the Jones Creek Regional Library in Baton Rouge for having me.

Towards the end of the event, a man in his sixties walked up to me. I put down my phone and said hello. The man then began asking me about where I was from and seemed oddly insistent about knowing precisely where I lived. This was off-putting to the say the least. If I weren’t much bigger than him, I might have been concerned. He didn’t really need to know that information. Most of the conversation was about where he was from and the various places that he’d lived and other information that I didn’t really want or need to know.

Even at an event like that, I don’t expect people to only talk about my books. I’m happy to meet new people and have conversations. It’s better than sitting at a table playing on my phone. That said, the guy had not given me any reason to care about his goings-on. At that point, I didn’t even know his name.

Finally, he mention my book. But only one. He didn’t seem to notice the other book sitting right next to the first.

He explained that he had a podcast that he and his friend started a year ago which focused on interviewing writers like myself. While I was interested, I had also noted that his show had only been around a year. He likely didn’t have much of an audience. Still, the guy was asking me to be on his show, so I said yes. He then handed me a notebook and asked me to write down my name, phone number, email and the name of my book. I bristled at the request of my phone number. There’s no good reason for him to have that. But against my better judgment, I wrote it anyway.

It was at that point that he informed that he needed to charge me a dollar and asked if that was alright.

It isn’t often that I am at a loss for words. But in this case, it was a good two-mississippi before I firmly told him “No. I’m not doing that.”

The guy was shocked. “No?”

“No. I’m not paying you a dollar to be on your show.”

I actually had a lot of thoughts, but I didn’t want to be rude. He explained that his accountant had told him that in order to file his expenses as a loss on his taxes, he had to charge his guests something… even just a dollar. So this was just a formality. This is insanely bad advice and a ridiculous business model. While there are some rare podcasts that are willing to pay guests to come on, there are no podcasts (certainly not successful ones) that charge guests. This would be like asking a contractor to build your house and telling him he owes you twenty bucks for the privilege.

The man did not understand why I would say no. First of all, it was only a dollar. Secondly, he explained that every other author had agreed. “Yeah, well that’s their call. I’m not doing that.”

Finally, he offered to do the interview for free. He actually took the time to write “no charge” above my name. I thought that was strange. But then, everything up until then had been strange. I agreed to the interview… reluctantly… just to end the conversation.

There were other notable things that were said, but let’s just jump to the point.

Everything about this man’s pitch was awful.

Strike one. His initial conversation was an attempt to get to know me; softening me up for his pitch. Theoretically, that’s good. In sales, you are selling yourself first and your product second. But his approach showed he had no idea how to accomplish that. Imagine that instead I was a woman he was trying to ask out. What would she think if he kept insistently trying to pin down the neighborhood she lived in? In my case, the obvious way to ingratiate himself would have been to simply ask me about my books! Particularly since that is the very subject of his show!

Strike two. He told me he started the show a year ago. As I said, I know he doesn’t have a decent sized audience. This isn’t a dealbreaker. Ordinarily, I would still be happy to go on the show. But it’s a ridiculous thing to note before…

Strike three. Asking for money. It is not my job to subsidize his dream. There is a price to pay to live your dreams.

You want a successful podcast? Build your show. Build your audience. When the numbers get high enough, you can look into advertising sponsorships. That is how it works… unless you’re famous and then some corporation will give you a show and sponsors even if you’ve never held a mic before.

His point about other writers being willing was also amateur. My guess is that everyone else he dealt with were excited at the thought of being treated like they were special. And it was only a dollar, right? Why, certainly they would make that up in sales from his audience!

The difference is that this was not my first rodeo. I know that just going on a show doesn’t guarantee sales. First of all, the show has to be good. Both the interviewer and the interviewed have to be interesting, engaging and great at selling their ideas. Even then, most of his audience is going to pass, if not all of them.

What this man was doing was trying to convince me that he was doing me a favor. In reality, he was asking for a favor. His show needs content. He literally can’t do the show if no one wants to pay him to be on it.

In my case, I’m a fantastic guest. I’m great on mic. I’m fearless behind a microphone. I’m opinionated. I’m also controversial… which isn’t great for sales, but it’s great for your show. Artists—- KNOW YOUR VALUE. If you don’t, you will be taken for a fool.

In the entirety of his pitch, he never once came close to answering the question. “What’s in it for me?”