Down Syndrome isn’t a Curse
Five years ago, my brother and his wife found our their baby stood a high chance of having Down syndrome. My baby brother started to cry when he told me. I didn’t know what to say other than, “it will be okay”. A hollow platitude, but that was all I had. I didn’t know anything about Downs.
The journey from there to here has not been easy. He was in and out of hospitals constantly as an infant. At 6 months old he had to have open heart surgery. That counts as one of the two scariest moments of my life. And there are other complications as well. It can be a lot.
My nephew is four now. He’s amazing. He’s sweet and loving. He’s smart and funny. He’s a bit entitled and kind of a pain in the ass sometimes (like his Dad). He loooooooooves music. And he is without a doubt, a blessing.
I do quite a lot to support him. I’m there as often as I can be. Even as busy as I am trying to get one of my many projects off the ground and actually make a living, I am never too busy to be there for my nephew. And because of him, I am fairly sensitive about the subject of people with Downs.
Today I saw some news making the rounds on X/Twitter about an influencer couple who aborted their baby after 21 weeks because of a Down syndrome diagnosis. To make matters worse, they made youtube videos about it in order to monetize this tragedy.
Let me be clear, people with Down syndrome have every right to live. They’re usually wonderful, kind human beings. But we do have to acknowledge the fear that comes along with a Down syndrome diagnosis. There isn’t much education on the subject. No one really talks to you about it until you have a loved one who lives with it.
In ordinary circumstances, I would sympathize with a couple hearing this diagnosis and being afraid. I do not and will never condone the act of aborting a child… but I get it. Couples in this position are probably going to feel completely alone, hopeless and helpless, even if they have a support system. And not all parents of Downs kids have a support system.
What disgusts me about this couple is that they turned their child’s abortion into an gambit for money and fame. On one of the videos, the wife seems to be crying and the husband coldly says “yeah, these aren’t the results we were hoping for”, as if his diet hadn’t panned out. Absolutely infuriating.
Then, when they got backlash for this horrific act, they complained to TMZ that people were mean to them and they had seen the “darkest side of humanity.”
We have a real problem in our culture with callousness and degeneracy.
The first time I felt it was in the first month of my nephew’s diagnosis. My now-former best friend repeatedly insisted that I should try to convince my brother to abort his child. In his view, this was just cold logic. My brother and sister-in-law would have their lives ruined and they shouldn’t bring a disabled child into the world. That’s not the only horrible thing he said to me in the last few months of our friendship, but it was the worst.
Since then, I’ve heard people use Down syndrome as an insult. I’ve seen people post photos of people with DS as a “joke”. I’ve seen videos of Only Fans models who use digital filters to make it look like they have Down syndrome for their sex videos. (Those people and their fans in particular, I would like to publicly expose.) Now we have influencers turning their own private eugenics act into a circus just so they can get some clicks.
Almost as bad are the people in the comments saying they did the right thing.
It doesn’t just sicken me. It makes me sad. These are the most vulnerable members of our society and we treat them like they don’t exist.
The only part of this that gives me some measure of hope is that the couple received instant and widespread backlash. Some standing up for their loved ones. Others standing up for the Down syndrome community as a whole.
I can only hope that this is the beginning of a larger conversation about the people who live with Down syndrome.
If anyone in the greater New Orleans area has Down syndrome or a child with DS, you have a standing offer of one free personal or family portrait session. Just email me.
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